Not Ironic

by russellshrag

While the groop do their groop vocals I thought I’d share our thoughts on Alanis Morrissette’s Ironic.

I know, topical reference point. We know that comedians have been and done this before us. But we heard this song last night in the Bay Horse, the only pub in West Hamilton without a pentagram on the wall.

We decided to give “Ironic” proper analysis, taking each situation presented to us by Alanis on it’s own merits and marking them out of 5, 1 being not ironic, 5 being… Ironic (we then quickly abandoned the scoring system realising that things are either ironic or not, and slightly ironic doesn’t really exist).

I was hoping that through this analysis we would discover more ironic situations in Ironic than are popularly believed to exist within the song.

Here are our findings:

An old man dies after lottery win

Not ironic – sad

It’s a black fly in your chardonnay

Not ironic – racist

It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late

Not ironic – travesty

It’s like rain on your wedding day

Not ironic – unlucky

It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid

Not ironic – philosophical

It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take

Not ironic – belligerent

Mr play it safe was afraid to fly etc. (dies on first flight)

Not ironic – self fulfilling prophecy

A traffic jam when you’re already late

Not ironic – late

A no smoking sign on your cigarette break

Not ironic – idiot

It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife

Not ironic – just not ironic

It’s like meeting the man of my dreams and meeting his beautiful wife

Not ironic – Slag!